Jesus Will Provide

Nini, as I call her is my not-so-little sister. While chatting with her this morning, she asked when could we possibly go home. “I don’t know” was my answer followed by a narration of all my pessimism and worries. Before I could pound my keyboard any longer, I glanced at our chat window and her reply was “Jesus will provide.”

Her words were simple yet powerful. I always remind her to pray. I feel responsible to be her guide in her spiritual walk. Yet this morning, she’s seen the apprehensive side of her big sister who was taken over by anxiety and all she could say is “Jesus will provide.” It was an unsolicited advice but that is what my spirit exactly needs to be reminded of.

Jesus will provide. I’m glad to have heard this from and be reminded by my not-so-little sister. I am so blessed! I may not have a perfect family but we rely on the Lord’s great work in our lives. I believe we are still in an on-going process for refinement and it isn’t always easy but He’s always been there through it all.

Jesus will provide. He always has and I know He still will.

Thanks sister dear...

Smack Me!

For some foolish reason, hubby and I got delayed with our daily bible reading schedule and missed prayer and fasting this month. Restlessness shrewdly sneaked into the picture. I personally felt dry and distant from the Lord in our efforts to reach out for Him once again.

Add to that, I have been disturbed with the long idle hours at work. It brought me surfing from one site to another, blog-hopping, checking all my four email accounts several times in a day and even getting online to chat with whoever is available, simply because I wanted to kill time.

When I think about my job, I’m scared. I can’t afford to lose it. Nobody will take the responsibilities I have for my family back home. Who will pay all the bills, all the debts? What will happen to my contract when July comes? Or even before that? These and so many more questions… I want answers and I want them ASAP.

Then many more thoughts...

Before I could muster my stubborn thoughts into something wilder, the Lord interrupted me. He made me remember the lowest times in my life- those times when I did nothing but cry out to Him for help, times when I can only draw my strength from Him because I have nothing left on my own, times when I'd talk to Him all day long because nothing and no one else could comfort me but Him alone. “That was tough!” I uttered to myself. “Yes, tough indeed! But I did take care of everything. Didn’t I?” His reply left me speechless.

I do realize that I cannot thank Him enough for all the good things He’s done and still about to do in my life, yet, here I am worried with my own little world. Could someone please smack me n the face and tell me how BIG the GOD I serve?

Happy Birthday Kath!

I did the math for you.
27 + 1 = 28
You're 28!
30 - 28 = 2
2 more years and you'll be 30!

May you have many many more birthdays to come.
May the Lord grant the desires of your heart.
Wish you all the best.
And I hope to see you soon!

Not Bad

That's my distance education course's professor's comment when asked about my midterm grade. Of course I wasn't convinced. My test papers were almost blank and I wasn’t really sure with most of my answers.

He announced that he posted the midterm grades on the course website so I wanted to see for myself that my student number indeed indicated the grade he declared I got. Some of my classmates complained that the grades were no where to be found in the course nor yahoo groups website but it took him almost a week to react to those. I thought that maybe he has not really finished computing our grades and what he gave was just based on approximation. Who knows?

With that in mind, I recognize my need to catch up with the course schedule and try hard to complete the assignments.

I checked my email this morning and prioritized opening my professor’s unexpected email. He confirmed he posted the grades. I clicked on the link he gave with mixed emotions of curiosity, excitement and fear. I immediately searched out for my student number and it’s not bad!

And for this, I want to thank my Jesus.

Odd Job

As much as I want to write about all the things that have happened this week, I’m not sure I will be able to organize my thoughts into one comprehensive entry. My energy is all burned up with last Saturday’s tasks and I have not completely recovered from it. I still feel pain on my legs which I think was worsen by the heels that I have worn since Sunday to church then Monday through yesterday for work. So today I decided to wear flat hoping to shorten my agony.

Wonder why I’m in such pain and discomfort? I and hubby got ourselves involved into something we haven’t done in ages. We cleaned up an old couple’s backyard that was messed up by the ice storms that came with the winter. Their backyard is big and we have to cut out unwanted branches, grab those that were already broken then sort them out into bundles for pick up. Hubby and a friend originally worked for this couple but when they called hubby last Friday, he cannot contact that friend so I excitedly volunteered to help him. We got to their place around 9AM and finished everything by 4PM.

Well, I’m not really sure if that can be labeled as an odd job but I’m tagging it as such now. I remember how I and my friends would talk about going abroad and how we agree to be contented even with just these so-called odd jobs. Aside from how easy and fun they seem, consider the amount that we can earn compared to the number of hours that we have to work for it in the Philippines.

For this reason, I say that we may have been feeling pain in our bodies for nearly 5 days now however, the 7 hours of work was well worth the pay. We were so blessed to have worked for them since they were really a very nice and generous couple.

Baking

I was craving for cheesy baked pasta since last week. Though I wanted to bake some, I was anxious it won't turn out the way I've craved for. Hubby, on the other hand, has been longing for a leche flan (custard cake) since time immemorial. The last time I baked him his favorite, I have to divide it into 8 equal slices so he can have a portion each day for a week’s time. Otherwise, he can consume it all in one day.

As expected, he’s taken more than he should have,
so I decided to stop baking it for sometime.

Leche flan surely is a big YUM but
it’s also considerably unhealthy being made from 12 egg yokes.

My craving plus my boredom plus my desire to please hubby resulted to google-ing for baked lasagna and custard pie recipes yesterday. I thought custard pie would be a good alternative for his favorite since it’s only made of 3eggs. There’s really not much cholesterol involved and it’ll most likely taste the same. And so I skipped my afternoon driving lesson and we headed to get the needed ingredients at Walmart.

I started all the preparations as soon as we got home.

I was pleased with my lasagna...

and so was hubby with his custard pie.

I consider baking as one of my stress therapies. It relaxes me regardless of how long the preparation time is. Although I always combine an existing recipe with my own experiment, the end result would nevertheless make me smile- whether it be good or bad, I count on every outcome as a learning experience.

'coz we're BORED!

Sunset

"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath..." - Ephesians 4:26

Driving 101

One of the things that I have always looked forward to back in college, was learning how to drive. I saw how my mamang (mother) would panic when she was taking her driving lessons with my papang (father). I witnessed how these lessons would end up into silly fights just because he did not have enough patience with her and she did not have enough courage to fight her fear and just learn to drive.

Kinda ambitious, I was hoping to complete my driving lessons before I graduate from college and drive my own car as soon as I have my job. But you see, things can’t always be your way and your plans aren’t always how you hoped them to happen. To make the long story short, it’s almost seven years since I graduated from college. I am in my third job since then and I still am not done with my driving lessons. In fact, I just enrolled to hubby’s driving institute.

I am learning the basics.

While hubby is trying hard to be patient with his student, I try hard to be obedient to his every instruction. So far, so good. I am hoping to get my KY permit then my license-hopefully, soon.

Chutney

One of the ECST guys in the office is getting married! So his team had a potluck party for him last Friday. I am not with the team but my desk is in the lab so I was invited. I know most of them by face but I don’t really mingle with them. I feel like slowly creeping into somebody else’s pocket whenever I have to be or deal with people I really don’t get to be with a lot.

Anyway, my Iranian officemate forced me to get up and get some sweets so I did. We stayed with the group while we enjoyed watching the groom-to-be open the gifts from his teammates. Not long after I got back to my desk, an Indian officemate brought me a plate with a little of everything, since there was just too much food for everyone. What caught my eyes the most though, is the green thingy on the plate.

This is what they call chutney- a hot and spicy condiment
made of cilantro, ginger, garlic, hot green peppers and some lemon juice.

I love it! I brought it home and it completed my dinner of rice and fried chicken. According to Wiki, this can be made with fruits too! I wanted to try making my own version with crunchy green mangoes. YUM! Now, I'm drooling...

So there goes my green ruby Tuesday for St. Patrick's day!

I love you MORE

I overheard a teammate's conversation with his wife on the phone. Nope, I wasn't eavesdropping! We were working on something when his wife called and I was left with no choice but to pretend that I was busy while they exchanged sweet nothings. It feels good, if not great, to be reminded that someone loves and cares for you more than what you can actually do for the person in return. More often than not, I choose to love or care for people who deserve it most or more preferably, will be able to return me the favor in the way I want or expect it.

Sometimes I am the source and at times I become the recipient. Being the latter, I seldom become contented of what people can afford to give me. I appreciate one thing then I’d expect more. I’d be pleased with the act of one expectation but it doesn’t end there. I’d allow myself to be entangled on the vicious cycle of one expectation to another and to another. The cycle that I am getting into is not just composed of mere expectations. Disappointment and pain comes with it and very seldom happiness. As the former, I think I am always giving it my best. Yet, at the back of my mind, I know am really not. I don’t really give my all ‘coz I just can’t. I just can’t give and give and just get hurt.

Just when I realized about how selfish I am, I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder.

I looked around and found the One Who has always given His all to me- He Who has always loved me unconditionally and faithfully.

It really didn’t matter how unworthy I am, He just gave it all anyway.

He has always been the source and I, always the recipient of His great love.

No matter what I do, I can never do Him enough as much as what He has already done for me.

I stood speechless, shamefully bowing my head but He embraced me one more time.

Morning Thoughts

Thank You dear Lord, I had a sound sleep last night. Thank You for always being there and for always making me feel loved regardless of how unworthy I am.

***

Yippee! It’s Thursday again.

It will be another long day but that’s alright ‘coz weekend’s almost here.

***

Still have to get my readings and assignments done though, so help me God.

***

Need to start packing things up for our move-out! Quite excited for that…

***

I regret saying sorry… It hurts every time I do.

***

I miss my family. Wonder when are we ever gonna see each other again.

***

This is life so enough of those thoughts and get back to work!

Just A Thought

You know who your true friend is-
he who sticks with you through thick and thin
and then just the two of you against the world
doesn't really matter.

A Big Procastinator

That's what I am when it comes to studying!

I can have a whole lot things to do just to put studying aside. I can do the laundry, cook, bake, clean the house, email and chat with friends online and then generate several more and more excuses.The end result is not so good. I am two lessons, two readings and two assignments behind. Tomorrow is scheduled for a new lesson but I am not even done with the 2nd lesson yet and have not even started my readings nor my assignments.

Who's to blame? No one but myself. I know I have to cope with my lessons but it seems like my energy is all consumed from work. Studying is the least I wanted to do when I get home, especially now, that I am overwhelmed with the urge to move out of our apartment. I'd prefer to prepare and sort things out for our exit rather than listening to the video-taped lessons.

Oh well, I know I can't take my studies for granted just like this. So by hook or by crook I need to make up for my midterm.

Apartment Hunting

Hubby and I were too exhausted last Saturday not only with driving around lexington to look for a new place, but also because of the long list of the many better choices that we have but just cannot afford. By "better choices," I mean that these apartments are not only nestled in a good neighborhood but also offer a wide array of amenities from simple recreation to luxurious lifestyle. Pictures below do not necessarily paint a thousand words- not just yet.



Anyway, we are a couple earning not only for ourselves but most importantly for our families. So after careful deliberation and discussion, we settled down to the most affordable one yet with most reasonable basis- a furnished studio type with all utilities paid. We can save a hundred bucks each month which already is a big amount when converted to Philippine peso compared to what was easiest on the pocket among the better choices.

However, being the typical woman fickle-minded that I am, I just cannot decide yet. I found reasons as to why a studio type might not be that pleasant afterall. This made hubby think twice as well. Among the reasons are:

• Kitchen smell can easily circulate to the whole place causing our wardrobe, pillows, blankets, etc. to smell just like it.
• There's only one closet which won't be enough for our clothes and two box-like storage that are too small to keep all our other stuff.
• Privacy- 1BR apartments are better than studio type in case we have visitors.

Undecided as we are, this afternoon we went to see a 1BR apartment which is at most 10 minutes drive to and from my workplace. It is also on a better location compared to the studio type we have previously considered. All units are occupied so we did not have a chance to look what's within but a very kind officemate offered to show us his place. The inside is more likely the same with our apartment but overall I'll say that it's absolutely better. Hubby and I agreed so we submitted our application highly hoping that it will approved.

Spring ahead, fall behind...

"Daylight saving time (DST; also summer time in British English; see Terminology) is the convention of advancing clocks so that afternoons have more daylight and mornings have less. Typically clocks are adjusted forward one hour near the start of spring and are adjusted backward in autumn. Modern DST was first proposed in 1907 by the English builder William Willett." - Wiki

It's Saturday

.. and I am wide awake at this hour. As much as I want to sleep more and relax for the weekend, I have to get up and start the day early. As much as I want to believe we're fine and we have recovered from the other day's upsetting incident, I know the contrary holds true. We are still haunted by paranoia of what would happen next and what else they arehe is capable of doing.

We are ready to commit a breach of contract on our lease and we will. Our current apartment's management permitted us. Part of me is excited to look for a new place while another part remains apprehensive of the all the preparations and adjustments in sight. This has been a very convenient place for me but safety-wise? FOrget about it. We have been googling for apartments online and we will go sight seeing today. I regret not seeing our current apartment before moving in so I am not making the same mistake.

Oh well, I need to get moving before time beats me up again!

Carelessness

We woke up earlier than usual this morning. After taking a shower, I decided to call Joan because I have always been postponing my calls to her since last month. We had a long chat until I finally have to leave for work. I was still happily talking with her on the phone when I closed the apartment's door.

At work,I turned on my computer and logged on then went to the restroom to comb my hair. Back to my desk,I looked at the phone wondering if hubby is already home. The routine would be- he calling me so I would know that he is home then we eat our breakfast after we hang up the phone. But it seems like it's taking him forever to give me a ring this morning. I have already prepared my breakfast and ready to eat when the phone rang."You won't believe what I saw when I came back," his tone somewhat uncanny. I didn't know what to expect but I wanted him to go straight to the point. Our next door neighbor was in our apartment! Hubby caught him in the act of looking for more things in our room while his watch was already on the table, the laptop closed, its cooling pad with two cellphones on the bed and another one already removed from the charger.

Click photo to enlarge

However,he was not ready to pack and leave yet. According to hubby, he seemed to be still searching for more stuff he could bring with him. Too unfortunate for him, we don't have anymore costly possessions other than those he had already found. Hubby claimed to have madly interrogated him and his alibi was he thought it was his apartment because it was unlocked. What kind of excuse is that? All doors in the apartment are numbered clearly that even a grade school pupil will be able to distinguish one from the other. Given the benefit of the doubt, he should be able to tell if he mistakenly entered our apartment as soon he opens the door. If so, he would not get himself farther than the living room and do what he did.

Hubby called security and the news reached the management. Their measure was replacing the door lock with a new one. Cops came and interrogated the guy. Their conclusion- the guy being disabled (Yes, one of his legs is artificial and he can't walk straight. I saw him aided with crutches one time.) was just being opportunistic and the door could have been possibly left unlocked. Okay, I admit maybe it was my fault being the last person to get out from the apartment. I clearly remember locking it although I know I should have double-checked it. Hubby couldn't tell if we lost anything yet. He asked the guy to show him his wallet and pockets and there was nothing in there except for some dollar bills and I don't think any of those is ours because I don't usually withdraw money and keep it in our apartment.

Thank you Lord, it was JUST that. Nobody was hurt and we lost nothing. I know You were already there even before hubby arrived.

Happy 26th Monniversary

I came across a new Philippine talk show a few weeks ago and the host clarified that this is the correct way of saying it rather than using the common term "monthsary." Although hubby and I don't really celebrate this, we take note of the date and simply greet each other with "happy N months!" We seldom use the term monthsary. This morning he kissed me "happy monniversary" when we woke up. Although awkward, it made me smile.

Happy 26 months nin!
Looking forward to many more days, months and years of sweet and sour adventure...

Lexington Green

Not much red, but sure has a little bit of it...

Sunday Blessings

I wake up on Sunday mornings looking forward to chat with my family back home. It gives me peace and joy to know that they are well with the Lord's providence, protection and guidance. I usually wake up late than our normal appointed time to chat but not yesterday. I got up earlier than usual despite the previous day's tiring relaxation. It worried me that they never came online even after half an hour already. I resorted to buying a phonecard to contact them and see what's happening. Hearing my not-so-little sister's voice relieved me from my paranoia. It was just the usual network problem they were having with their internet at home. I talked to my mother and learned that her foot was hurting since Thursday and was asked to refrain from walking as much as possible. I need not know the reason nor care whether it was due to carelessness or not. What I cared for is her need to recuperate from it. It is always hard to console a feeling of concern+worry to a loved one who is hurting, especially that you are separated miles and miles away from them and you really can't see the actual situation. You know they usually keep the whole truth from you to loosen you up from negative emotions.My father made it up to me with the news he's brought with him. His retirement has moved one step up in the process. The course of a military's (or any government employee's) retirement application usually takes forever in the Philippines. I always tell him to pray about it and let the Lord take care of it. And he always agrees and reminds me that the Lord will always be with us.For this, I was blessed to realize that I have put my God aside and was taken over by my worries again. I praised and thanked the Lord after our conversation was cut off.

I did hubby's haircut for fun while cooking rice, sinigang and pancit guisado for our lunch and dinner. At church, Sunday school was finished early so I asked hubby if it would be okay with him that we go to one of the shopping places we went to the previous day. Hubby never says no to wifey so off we went. I agreed to make an express shopping and I did it in approximately 30 minutes for all three shops.

A pink dry highlighter, another pantyhose and a lovely pair of sandals

We were back to church just a minute before the awesome Spirit-filled service. Thank You Jesus!

Saturday Unwind

I have an allergy talking about exams after taking them. Even then, I usually avoid conversations about my and other people's answers. I don't like comparing both, only to end up frustrated about how I did with mine. All I want to do is recover from the agony rather than extending it. And so last saturday was one of those times when all I wanted to do was forget about my not-so-long-but-harder-than-expected exam as soon as I submitted my test papers...

Thank God,Lexington Green's waterworks and relaxing atmosphere made it possible.




I envy these ducks' carefree lives. It didn't matter how cold it was. They just enjoyed the moment of being together and look forward to people who'd kindly feed them.

It was getting colder and we were freezing outside so we hopped in the mall and just hang on there to keep ourselves warm...

We ate our packed lunch and headed to our next destination. Since it was really very cold, we decided to skip from our original plan of wandering around a park and just headed off to my all-time favorite- mall hopping/window shopping. I knew I won't go home empty-handed. So there, I settled for a pantyhose and a green dry highlighter for my little bible after an exhausting afternoon of trying on a pair of sandals and another pair and another...

And for the record, thanks to hubby! I appreciate your patience- very very much, for bearing with my kind of unwind.