What was most awaited came very unexpectedly after years and
years of anxious waiting. The agony was finally put to halt when schedules
were set. I am very rarely an optimist but rumors had it all. I was over-confident,
this is it. In my mind, I painted a vivid picture of better days ahead. And although I worried some, I have a
definite plan of action carefully crafted to pronounce triumph.
Like how the previous caught me by surprise, the outcome of
it all was far more overwhelming. A very probable impediment interrupted
the whole process. It took a while to sink in but when it did, it tore my
sketch of reverie apart. Dreams and plans- shattered into pieces. I tried to
concoct my own formula for answers. The more I tried, the more desperate I had
become.
So, where was He in all these? I knew He was right in the midst of it all. Perhaps,
watching my every move but I chose to ignore and hold Him liable for this
sudden turn of events.
Give thanks in all circumstances (1Thessalonians 5:18). If only it turned to
what I thought was the right way (aka my way), it would have been easier to be
grateful. Or if, at least, the reasons for such were spelled out clearly, I
would have understood. So give thanks for what now? An amazing husband,
wonderful families, great friends, good health and a beneficial
job are blessings that can outdo all the disappointment. I am blessed beyond
measure despite this instance of a downer.
Trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3:5). I have trusted Him in all
these. In fact, this is the very same reason I vied for a positive outcome even
when hubby remained skeptic about it. In
the end, I can’t help but feel deceived by the trust I openly imparted. But if
I really trust or trusted Him, why would I be so upset now? Trust means faith. Faith is not only
confidence in the things hope for but also the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews
11:1)
His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts than my
thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). What took Him so long? Then what changed His
mind so abruptly? I really, honestly, don’t know. I’m just pretty sure that what
my tiny brain can barely comprehend is nothing compared to the detailed blueprint
He’s already laid out for my life. He sees a much bigger picture no matter how brilliant my imagination can get.
All things work together for good (Romans 8:28). It’s all gloomy today but I know and believe
in my heart, everything will make perfect sense in His own beautiful time.
